


Confessions and Best Friends

by soupremeleader



Series: Adam Driver Character x Reader One Shots [7]
Category: Adam Driver - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Childhood Friends, Devoted Kylo Ren, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Romantic Fluff, Soft Ben Solo, Soft Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader is a big old softie (for you), Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27119467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soupremeleader/pseuds/soupremeleader
Summary: You and Ben Solo/Kylo Ren are childhood best friends and he finally admits to himself what he's known all along.Read part 2 (soft smut) here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334315
Relationships: Ben Solo & Reader, Ben Solo & You, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren & Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren & You, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/You, Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Series: Adam Driver Character x Reader One Shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071464
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Confessions and Best Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the product of my soft boy morning thoughts. This was entirely self indulgent lol

When Kylo Ren, formerly your childhood best friend Ben Solo, asked you to join him on the Finalizer, you were hesitant. You were afraid your friend was no longer who he used to be, a quiet and unassuming boy who loved his family and friends and his calligraphy set. When you accepted, you were happy to find that under the tough exterior lived the young boy who still yearned for his best friend - for companionship in such a lonely profession. 

Kylo set you up with quarters next to his, a job in the field you had been in at your prior home as a tech, and gave you every luxury you wanted (or as much as was possible while living in space). His only request? That you call him Kylo Ren now and just continue to be his friend. You could live with that, you supposed. 

It was a weird adjustment at first but you could tell what a toll his role took on him, seeing the dark circles under his eyes and the haunted faraway looks he would sport at times, and were grateful he had reached out to you like old times. This was when you suggested you sleep together just like those old times, taking comfort in those late night cuddles and sweet words to lull him into a better sleep - or at the very least, any sleep at all since it didn’t look like he was getting much in the first place. Kylo was eager to accept your proposal, apparently as touch starved and desperate for you as he had been when he was just Ben Solo. 

The first night you slept together, your smaller frame tucked into his side with his large arms wrapped around you, Kylo had the best night of sleep he had had in years. When it was time to get up he barely stirred, and it wasn’t until you begged to be let go so you could go pee that he finally relinquished his hold on you, albeit with plenty of complaining and sass. As you got up to relieve yourself, you did so with a smile tugging at your lips, laughing at you friend. Nothing had changed, even though everything had. 

You relished the days where he had a morning off or no work at all, where he kept you in bed for as long as possible, dead to the world as he softly snored away, his grip on you tight and possessive. In these moments you would wriggle around until you were facing him if you weren’t already and took your time taking in his sleeping figure. He looked at ease, peaceful and calm - happy even. 

You would take in his full lips, able to appreciate them when they weren’t drawn into a hard line or being bitten on from stress. You would count his beauty marks, dotting his face like his own personal constellation - one you were privileged and honored to know. You would take in his messy hair, wavy and long, silky and black. 

On rare occasions he would sport a small smile. Those were your favorite mornings, knowing that he was having a pleasant dream instead of his usual nightmares. Sometimes he would hold you so tight during a nightmare that you would struggle to breath, your breath punched out of you at the sudden constricting of his arms. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part were the screams - snippets of whatever was haunting him that night. You longed to shake him out of it, to help him through it, to let him know how loved he was. Sometimes he woke up crying. On those mornings you would cry, too. 

You hated when he would go on missions because it meant his sleep quality suffered. There were times when you accompanied him and times when he didn’t want you to go because it could be dangerous. On those occasions he would come back looking worse for wear, dismissing you from work with his power as a superior and tugging you into bed so he could catch up on all the sleep he had missed, all the body contact he had been yearning for while away. 

Sometimes it was hard for Kylo to fall asleep, even though he had you by his side. On those nights you would pretend to sleep just so you could hear everything he longed to say out loud to you but never had the courage or the opportunity to say. You would feel his thick fingers trace your face, play with your hair, his palm running down your arm or side before landing, warm and heavy, on your hip or waist. 

He would confess his love to you on those sleepless nights, comforted by the idea that you didn’t know. How he loves you so much he can’t stand it - that it hurts him to be away from you but also hurts him to be near you because Kylo never knows when the other shoe will drop. When you’ll stop coming to his bed and leave him, when you’ll reject him like everyone else has - like he deserves. He doesn’t know if you’ll ever feel the same way he does, and it would break him to find out you didn’t. 

Kylo whispers about how you were the first individual to give him a chance (even when his family had abandoned him), to look at him like a person, and to listen and give him time to think and form his words before speaking instead of assuming what he was thinking or dismissing him altogether. How when everyone was afraid of his growing power and pull to the dark side you remained with him. Even when he left you would send him letters, even though many of them would go unanswered. 

Kylo admitted he had a box full of your letters saved and that he always meant to write back but never felt like what he had to say was good enough - like he wasn’t good enough. All of his drafts would find their way into his trash bin, never finding their way to you. So when he had finally decided to bring you to him he had done so in person because he had reasoned you would have a harder time saying no then. He was always afraid. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to live if you ever abandoned him. You were his guiding light. 

It was hard to fake sleeping when you heard him being so vulnerable and open, spilling his innermost secrets into the quiet bedroom. You would never betray his trust so you never brought it up, wishing and hoping that one day he would find the confidence to willfully speak those words out loud to you in your waking moments. Sometimes you wondered if that never happened if it would be enough to just hear them whispered to you in the dark. Sometimes you believed it would be. 

***

When you got called out of work you were expecting to be ordered to go to the Supreme Leader’s quarters. Your face fell when someone rushed you to the med bay instead. Kylo Ren had been hurt, they said. Your vision blurred with tears as you followed quickly behind your escort. Kylo was strong and he always made it through these times. Usually he came back a bit battered and bruised, but this was the first time he had had to be taken to the med bay instead of treated in his quarters. You didn’t want to think about what that meant for his current state. 

When you walked into the pristine area, you were greeted by a doctor who informed you that the Supreme Leader was conscious and asking for you. In order to treat some of his more serious injuries they had taken the precaution of sedating him because he had been inconsolable, fighting to get to you. He was finally awake, though still in a fair amount of pain and sleepy. 

The nurses had decided that even though Ren should not be taking visitors at this time that it may be worth it for you to be there so they didn’t have to keep sedating him every time he fought someone or tried taking off all the wires and tubes connected to him in an effort to find you. Everyone aboard the Finalizer knew you were probably the best sedative they had. After all, deaths, injuries, and damage caused by Kylo’s lightsaber had dropped dramatically since your first night aboard. No one doubted your ability to keep him soothed and in line. 

You nodded through your tears as you were led to his room. You brushed away the tears but they kept coming. You wanted to be strong, to help him and hold him and comfort him - but your haywire emotions were getting the better of you. You walked into the room to find the Supreme Leader equally as distraught as you. You heard the door click closed behind you as you absorbed his tear stained face, his red rimmed eyes, and disheveled hair from his nervous tic of running his hands through it multiple times. 

There were some medical droids working on his face where a large cut was running down it that disappeared into his uniform and another few working near his abdominal area. When he heard the door click closed and realized someone was in the room his attention snapped to you. His eyes searched yours, almost in disbelief. 

He made a move to get up, swatting away the droids, and you held your hands up in the air to stop him, coming over to the bed. Kylo instantly moved to bring you down to him, holding you to his chest as his body shook with his sobs. Between Kylo’s cries you could hear him wonder out loud about the fact that you came to him. After all this time he truly believed you wouldn’t come to him? That you weren’t bound to him body, mind, heart, and soul? Your heart broke at his words, his insecurities. Nothing could be further from the truth. You would follow your Supreme Leader to the ends of the galaxy and back, especially now that you had him back in your arms. 

“Of course I came. I’ll always be here if you let me,” you told him, feeling him shuddering beneath you, smelling the blood and dirt on his clothes and body, your salty tears dropping on to his now-tattered black robes. 

You let him hold you until his breathing evened out and was in rhythm with yours, and then you let him hold you some more. After some time he shuffled over so you could crawl into the bed beside him and you did. You lay there side by side, looking at each other in silence for a while, each observing the other. You were sure you both looked like an absolute mess. 

You brought your hand up to Kylo’s face and he closed his eyes as you traced the side of his cut, careful not to touch the actual wound. The droids had done a good job of stitching most of it up, though you knew that Kylo would find a way to mess up their work and open up his wounds in his eagerness to return to training. Your best friend had never been very good at following the rules.

You followed the line down until it disappeared under his clothes and then brought your hand up to trace his lips. He opened his eyes again as you did so and an almost imperceptible smile crossed his lips as your fingers passed over them. He brought his hand up to close over your wrist, holding you in place. Kylo kissed your palm, a tender something that meant absolutely everything, before gently laying your hand down so it cupped his face as he mirrored your pose and brought his large hand down to cup your face. 

“I wrote you a million letters, you know,” he started, breaking the silence. Kylo’s thumb ran over your cheek as he continued, “I’ve always loved you and I’ve never known how to tell you until now. Until I almost didn’t come back to you. I’ve never been more afraid. Not of death - but of losing you.” 

You felt something wet sliding down your face and you realized you were crying again. You shut your eyes and let his words sink in before replying. When you did so you looked straight into his eyes, needing to be absolutely clear so he couldn’t doubt your words. You didn’t want to give him any chance to not believe you, didn’t want to give his insecurities any chance to poison his mind further. “I’ve always loved you, Kylo. You’re my best friend, my companion, my partner.  _ I love you _ .”

“Say it again,” he whispered, moving to collect you into his arms, hold you close to him. The not yet dry blood on his clothes was getting on yours but you couldn’t care less, all you wanted was to be as close to Kylo as you could be. 

“I love you, Kylo,” you murmured, planting a chaste kiss to his jawline. 

“Again,” he commanded, “But call me Ben.” He held you by your jaw and locked eyes with you, his warm honeyed irises looking bright and golden in their intensity. 

“I love you, Ben,” you said, meeting his gaze straight on, trying to convey everything you could through the connection. 

Before you knew it, Ky- Ben’s soft plush lips were on yours, hot and eager and needy for you. His warm hands drew you even closer (which you were surprised was even possible) till you were flush against him, the hard feel of his toned abdomen a contrast to your softer curves, his fingers digging into your hips as his mouth searched yours. You poured everything you had into the searing kiss, hoping to burn out all of his doubts and anxieties about your relationship. You wanted to prove to him that he had nothing to be afraid of. You felt it, too. The connection. The bond. The love. 

Ben pulled away for a second, moving his lips to your throat, sucking on your pulse point before moving to kiss up and down your jawline to your shoulder between words. “No one has ever taken care of me like you have. Everyone’s always been afraid. But not you, never you. I’m always waiting for you to look at me and be terrified, to realize that our whole friendship has been a lie, that you really never wanted me. But you never do. You drive me  _ crazy _ . I can’t figure you out.” 

You began to laugh but it was cut short when Ben started to nibble on your ear. You had never realized how sensitive you were there, a shiver running through your body at the contact. You felt his breath fan out over your skin as he made his way back to meet your lips with his, bringing you in for another breathtaking kiss. This time you were the one to pull away, holding his head still before you so he had to look you in the eye again. “It doesn’t have to make sense, Ben. It’s love.”

“Love,” he repeated, looking at you like you were his whole world, the only thing he cared about in this whole galaxy - and you believed it. You felt like a queen - unstoppable, fueled by the love of the most powerful man in the galaxy. The only man in the galaxy that mattered to you. Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. Your best friend. And you knew right then and there, more than you had ever known before, that the man before you was your soulmate and you were his - each belonging to the other, equal in every way and unmatched in love - and you couldn’t wait to start this new chapter with your best friend. 

  
  



End file.
